Could This Be Your Story?

Recently Carla came to me because her son’s aggressive outbursts where beginning to get out of hand.

Whenever she asked him to do something he would refuse by stomping his feet and saying “NO!”

Carla had been seeing a psychologist and was implementing strategies of spending more time with him to “connect” more.

She felt it was great to spend time with him and while it helped a bit, he still would refuse to do the things when she asked.

She began to feel guilty that maybe she wasn’t spending enough time but also felt the pressure of all the other things she had to do to keep on top of the household and her job.

Then we had a chat and we discussed the steps of the FeelGood Family Formula – and she learned something important about connection that she had been missing.

You see, while spending 1 on 1 time is great, connection is about more than time.

The truth is it doesn't matter how much time you spend with them if the rest of the day you are saying, “No, stop that. Why would you do that?” or they hear your frustrated tone or see a disapproving look.

By implementing the steps of C.A.L.M Carla was able to get to the root cause of her son’s defiance. She came to see things from her son’s eyes and suddenly it became clear what he was really needing.

Every child is different and whilst "acting out" behaviour may look the same, the reasons for it often come from a different place and require a slightly different strategy.

Understanding how your unique child sees their world was a massive game changer for Carla (and her son).

We identified that her son’s HealthType was "Crusader" and what he really needed from her was to be able to pursue the things that he considered important and be recognised for his success in his achievements. Praise and respect were high on her son’s values and needs.

Carla started asking her son for his opinion on things and reasons behind his thinking.

Things began to change.

The walls finally began to break down and the defiance began to fade away.

The daily battles were gone – and so was the guilt. Carla started to enjoy parenting again and now sees her son in a different light.

These are skills you too can learn with the FeelGood Family Formula whenever you are ready.